Margaret writes in:
I have a twenty four year old daughter who is still living at home. She went away to college, but moved back in after college while looking for a job. She’s had a good job now for two years, but has made no move at all to move out. She does give me money for groceries and for bills, but she spends the rest of her money as soon as she gets it on clothes and cell phones and laptops.
I think it’s time for her to move out, but I know that if I kicked her out, she would have nothing to fall back on. What credit she has is pretty poor.
So I’m stuck. What do you suggest?
I suggest putting the impetus back on your daughter. This is how I would handle the situation.
Here’s what I would do. I’d sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Explain, quite simply, that you’ve been happy to give her a place to live while she gets back on her feet, but now it’s time to move on. Most of the time, children in this situation will do everything they can to delay moving out, so you’ll hear a lot of excuses about how she doesn’t have enough money, she’s not ready, and so forth.
So change the rules a bit. Offer to let her stay there for one more month if she opens up a savings account. At the end of each month, as long as the balance in that account is $500 (or $1,000) higher than it was the month before, she can stay for another month. Otherwise, it’s time for her to go.
This little move achieves both your goals and her goals. Your goal is to have your daughter become responsible for her own money to the point where she can easily move out of your home, a goal accomplished by her having a wad of money in the bank. Her goal is to prolong the situation – and you’ve given her a route to do …